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I’m Afraid God Is Angry With Me


There have been times in my life when I’ve feared God’s anger. Before I was a Christian, this was a healthy fear, meant to show me my need for a Savior.  I still remember many nights as a little girl when I was afraid to go to sleep because I thought God would judge me in His holy, righteous anger because of my unbelief.

Five years ago, God drew me to Himself and showed me great mercy through the cross.  I understood for the first time that His death paid the penalty of my sin and that I am now raised to walk in newness of life (Romans 6).  His death declared me righteous and His life enables me to live a life satisfying to God (not in my own ability, but rather through the strength of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit).

Since becoming a Christian, however, there are still times when I feel like God is angry at me.  Typically these are during times when I am painfully aware of sins I’ve committed against God.  I know God has forgiven me and accepted me as His child, but I fail to recognize that He sustains me every day.  I don’t think He likes me, because I can see that I’m not “good enough” to earn His favor.  And it’s easy at that point to find myself slip back into legalism and thinking that it’s up to me and my good works to keep God’s favor.

It’s especially during times like this that I need the gospel.  I need the reminder that there is nothing in me that earned God’s forgiveness and grace. There is nothing in me that was righteous enough to turn God’s wrath away.  And there is nothing in me that can earn His acceptance.

When I find myself struggling with condemnation and guilt, the answer is not to wallow there.  I am called to remember that the following things are true:

  • when I repent, I know that God will never count my sins against me (Romans 4:7-8)
  • Jesus’ death was not only to reconcile me to God, but also to give me new life (Romans 5:9-10)
  • The sins that discourage me are no longer my master (Romans 6:14)
  • The work of Christ Jesus provides freedom from condemnation. (Roman 8:1-4)

Here’s how to beat condemnation.  Confess your sin to God.  Then believe in Him.  Exercise the gift of faith that God has given you to believe that Jesus died for the very sins you’re being condemned for.  The punishment He received was for you.  His resurrection is proof that God accepted Jesus’ sacrifice.  The sins of your past and the sin you just committed were all atoned for; you need carry their weight no more. - C.J. Mahaney

[copyright, 2010, Emily Schankweiler; A Sacrifice of Praise]

Do Not Hide From God


I’ve often found that some of the most difficult times to turn to the Lord occur right after I sin against Him.  I’ll choose to rebel against Him and find myself running from Him afterwards, my heart full of fear.  I’ll politely refuse when people ask me to pray, or I’ll avoid my quiet times, simply because the infraction against Him is so fresh.  I convince myself that God doesn’t want to face me at that point… I think “maybe after a few days, when the stain has faded somewhat, I can come to Him.  But certainly God doesn’t want to see me now, not after what I’ve done,”

Recently, though, God reminded me of Genesis 3:8-10:

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.  But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”  And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”

When Adam and Eve sinned against God, they felt the need to hide, as I often do.  But God was still looking and calling out for them.  He still sought them, even though they had been tainted with sin.  They hid in shame and in fear.  When I sin, I often find myself acting the same way as Adam and Eve, instead of living out what Scripture reminds us of:  “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18).

In light of Scripture, I am reminded that when I sin against God, there is no need to hide in fear.  Because of the cross of Jesus Christ that fully paid for the punishment of my sin, I may approach His throne of grace with boldness (Hebrews 4:16).  I may turn to God in my time of brokenness, trusting in His grace through Christ’s sacrifice (Psalm 51:16-17).  Even if there is discipline, it brings me joy since I know that God is treating me as a son (Hebrews 12:7).

Therefore, even though we may be tempted to run from God when we sin against Him, we must realize that God’s desire is for us to draw close to Him (James 4:8).  Let us not be afraid to turn to God in our need.  His sacrifice paid for our sins, and He offers us reconciliation and freedom from fear.

“From whence this fear and unbelief, since God my Father, put to grief His spotless Son for me?  Can he, the righteous judge of men, condemn me for that debt of sin, Which, Lord, was charged on Thee?” …  “Turn, then, my soul, unto thy rest: The merits of thy Great High Priest speak peace and liberty: Trust in His efficacious blood, nor fear thy banishment from God, since Jesus died for thee.”  Augustus Toplady

[copyright, 2010, Emily Schankweiler; A Sacrifice of Praise]

When Life Falls Apart, Jesus Holds It Together


Do you sometimes feel like the world is falling apart?  In any given day almost anyone we talk to can share a shattering experience that rips through their life and pierces the peace they take for granted.  Even in the most dire of circumstances, things can get worse.  We know that.  We sometimes fail to remember that in an hour of despair, things can get better, too.

13 “For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins… 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1.

When my son was five years old, he was crossing the street so he could safely ride his little-wheel trike on the sidewalks on the other side.  Though he looked both ways, a large parked truck blocked his vision of an on-coming schoolbus.  He took off just as I screamed and lunged forward.  It was too late.  The bus grabbed the handle of his trike and pulled his head beneath its gigantic wheels.  He was wearing a toy plastic football helmet and the wheels of the bus gripped that; the grip held, and his head broke free.  He was sent flying into the air.  Just moments before I had been working on Vacation Bible School lessons in my kitchen.  I’d taken a break to walk out and visit with a neighbor who was waiting for her daughter to come home from school.  Suddenly my world was falling apart.

Yet as my world crumbled before my eyes, and fear tried to rob me of peace, the Lord held me and my world together.  He allowed clarity in my thinking amid the chaos of screams and people rushing about to help me.  The concussion my son had was not life-threatening because of the little helmet he wore.  Though every nerve was exposed in his hand and every bone broken, miraculously, his hand needed only to be stitched back together.  His arm was broken and his elbow dislocated, but the wrenching he’d received did not destroy its function.  Several miracles were seen through that seemingly destructive day.  Through it all, the Lord showed me quite clearly that “in Him all things hold together.”

PRAYER:  Lord, there are times we think our world is falling apart.  In these times, remind us of Your watchcare.  Remind us of the times You have held all things together for us.  Remind us that You said for us to “fear not”, that You are with us “even unto the end of the age.”

© Hariette Petersen, SelahV Today, 2010

Following Jesus: Step Out in Faith


After he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”

And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” (Matthew 14: 23-33, ESV)

Many of us are familiar with the story of Jesus walking on the water.  For me, it is an awesome reminder of Christ’s power.  It is also a very convicting story when I stop and think about Peter’s response.

Like the other eleven apostles, Peter could have chosen to remain in the boat.  Even though the wind and the waves were against the boat, the boat was still the safest place to be.  And yet, Jesus stood outside the boat, on the waves.  Peter’s heart yearned to be near to the Lord as he asked Jesus, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  After receiving Christ’s invitation, Peter stepped out, and became the only other man recorded in Scripture to walk on water.

There are many times in my life when I feel like things are against me.  I do not feel like I am moving forward; in fact, I’m fighting just to stand my ground.  I feel distant from God, knowing He hasn’t forsaken me, but feeling that He is not as near as I’d like.  In those times, it is an encouragement to remember Peter… He was willing to step out alone in faith to be closer to Jesus.  He was willing to leave the limited protection of the boat to step out further into the storm, since that is where the Lord was standing.  And, what is more, he stepped out alone, leaving the rest of the apostles in the boat.

I’m also reminded to seek God in prayer.  Just as Peter asked Jesus to call him before he stepped out, so I am reminded to ask for God’s guidance before I step out.  Walking by faith is not walking aimlessly, hoping God will catch up, but rather waiting for His voice and following His lead.

Prayer: Father, please remind me to call to you when the storms of life rage around me.  Remind me that I can step out in faith to where you lead me.  Give me a heart that longs to be close to you, even if I must step out alone.  And help me to remember to keep my eyes on you rather than the storm around me.  In Jesus’ name. Amen.

[copyright, 2009, Emily Schankweiler; A Sacrifice of Praise]

Fear God, Avoid Sin


…the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” (Exodus 20:18b-20)

The people saw great and terrible things coming from the mountain. God was safe when his sights were set on the Egyptians but there were no Egyptians in the wilderness, just a people who knew they had reason to fear the wrath and power of God. But Moses tells them not to fear. God had not met them at the mountain to consume them but to test them. He allowed them to catch a glimpse of his power to fill them with awe and reverence for him.

It might seem a strange thing that Moses says, “Do not fear,” but quickly follows with, “that the fear of him may be before you.” We are not to be people who are afraid of God. He is no whimsical tyrant, plaguing the cosmos at any small violation of his will, he is a loving Father to his people who tests them that they might live the way they were created to live.

That said, we live in a time when almost all we see of God is his mercy and grace. We need to see these. But sometimes we need to stand by Mount Sinai and hear the thunder roll and see the lightning flash, the flames of God’s presence erupting from the mountaintop.

Do not fear, God has called you to the best kind of life and has done everything necessary to bring you to that life. But when you are tempted to sin know with dreadful certainty that the God who sent his Son to die for sinners has also cast countless sinners into everlasting Hell.

By his mercy, obedience is a delightful thing. By his justice, the punishment for rebellion is more terrifying than any flash of lightning or crash of thunder. Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.

When Fear Comes Knocking, Have Faith in God


Fear and worry are not mere emotions; they are expressions of what we hold dear. They reveal the loyalties of our hearts. If we know Christ and have affirmed our allegiance to him, worry is a sign that we are trying to have it both ways. We certainly don’t want to renounce our allegiance to Jesus, but we want to protect what we feel is our own. We are not so sure that the Lord can be trusted with some of these things, so we look for help elsewhere. And if there is no obvious alternate source of help, we worry.
from Running Scared by Ed Welch

Because God is faithful, we have no need to fear.  But often, circumstances speak so loudly.  They tell us that fear is natural… that it’s a normal response to have.  Fear tells us that circumstances are bigger than God’s power, or even at times that God doesn’t care.  It can be so pervasive.  It creeps in so subtly.  So, what do we do at times in our life when fear comes knocking?  Or when we’ve seen it take hold in our lives?

Knowing and understanding God is crucial in our battle against fear.

We need to take gospel truths and filter our every fear through it.  It is important to look back and remember how God was faithful in the past.  Remember who you once were apart from the work of Christ in your life.  God, in his great love, provided His Son so that you do not have to live your life captive to sin, even the sin of fear and worry.  His overwhelming peace can speak louder to your heart than all your concerns and fears.

Here are a few gospel truths about God that help me when I struggle with fear:

He is a God of great love:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ. (Eph 2:4-5)

He is my Father:

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3:1)

He is near to me:

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Ps. 46:1)

He has promised to complete what He began:

He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Phil 1:6)

He is my Rock:

Fear not, nor be afraid; have I not told you from of old and declared it?  And you are my witnesses! Is there a God besides me? There is no Rock; I know not any.”  (Is. 44:8)

God is my Father.  He is near in my troubles.  He will complete the work in me.  He is faithful, and I can rest on Him.

Look back and remember all the times God has been faithful in your past.  Through every trial you’ve faced, He never left you. He will never stop being faithful.  Fight the urge to think of and project yourself ahead to a godless future.

God delights in His children coming humbly to Him.  He promises that every time you are afraid He will give you fresh grace and fresh strength… powerful grace.  Grace that is greater than all our fears!

[copyrighted, 2009, Emily Schankweiler]